๐™€๐™ซ๐™š๐™ง๐™ฎ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™„ ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™จ๐™ ๐™„ ๐™๐™–๐™™ ๐™ ๐™ฃ๐™ค๐™ฌ๐™ฃ ๐™—๐™š๐™›๐™ค๐™ง๐™š ๐™„ ๐™ฉ๐™ช๐™ง๐™ฃ๐™š๐™™ 40.

Published by Bert A. on

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I am not an โ€œexpertโ€ but I have a lot of life experiences and now Iโ€™m looking at the years ahead of me and I realize that Iโ€™ve reached the age my parents were when I discovered they were in fact aging. When I look back through my life, the ups and downs, the joy and sorrow, I am compelled to believe that the only way to make those painful moments worth it is to pass the lesson learned on to the younger generation. Every betrayal by a friend, every time I acted out of jealousy, every reaction that wasnโ€™t warranted, everything that was painful at the time had to have been for something, right? There is more to this life than my own experience. Henry Glassie said, โ€œHistory is not the past but a map of the past, drawn from a particular point of view, to be useful to the modern traveller.โ€ Consider this, young traveler, a map drawn by me to you.

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๐—–๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฏ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด. Itโ€™s scary because itโ€™s unknown but sometimes the best things happen when we change. Sometimes to become your true self, you must physically leave a place and start fresh.

๐—Ÿ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐—ณ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜๐˜‚๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป. Donโ€™t waste emotional energy or time lamenting over how much you hate it. Either change the situation or change the way you look at it so you can get through it.

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐˜€ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—น๐—น ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒโ€™๐˜€ ๐—บ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ด๐—ต ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—บ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ. Those things are religion, politics, and any other viewpoint that is controversial. Life is hard enough already. You donโ€™t need to add your two cents to every single conversation.

๐——๐—ผ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐—ฝ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐˜‚๐—ฝ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜†๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ, ๐—ป๐—ผ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐˜๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐—ฏ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ๐—น๐˜† ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—บ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ธ๐—ฒ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚, ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ผ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑs ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ. Donโ€™t change who you inherently are for anyone. Maybe itโ€™s a friend, maybe itโ€™s a partner, but the second you stop being yourself, and start trying to be somebody else, youโ€™ve lost. Thatโ€™s not love. Love doesnโ€™t ask for you to live a lie.

Love is not a feeling, it is a choice. You make the choice to make a relationship work through time, distance and any other situation or problem that may ariseโ€ฆfeelings ebb and flow and change like the wind. Love is steady and constant. No one ever said feelings were constant.

๐—Ÿ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ฎ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด, ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ. You make the choice to make a relationship work through time, distance and any other situation or problem that may arise.

๐—Ÿ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐—ฎ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐˜€ ๐—ฒ๐—ฏ๐—ฏ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ณ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„ and ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ธ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ. Love is steady and constant. No one ever said feelings were constant.

๐— ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฑ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—น ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ฐ๐—ธ. Thereโ€™s no shortcut around the middle school years. You must go through that stage of being awkward and uncomfortable. Youโ€™re barely a teenager, not a young adult, and most certainly not a child. Youโ€™re in this in-between stage. Itโ€™s confusing.

๐—”๐˜„๐—ธ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฑ ๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜๐˜‚๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—น๐—ฒ.

๐—•๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐˜ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ, ๐˜€๐—บ๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฒ. Look the other person in the eye and acknowledge them. It will get you farther than any gift money can buy.

๐—œ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฟ๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—ฑ. Sadness makes us feel vulnerable. It Involves opening yourself up, letting someone in and allowing them to see a part of you that is fragile, broken even.

๐—œ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฟ๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—ฑ. Sadness makes us feel vulnerable. It Involves opening yourself up, letting someone in and allowing them to see a part of you that is fragile, broken even.

๐—”๐—ฐ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐—ฝ๐˜ ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฝ ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—บ ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€. Nobodyโ€™s going to give you an award at the end of your life if you were able to do it all on your own. Thereโ€™s no medal for being completely self-reliant. If youโ€™re too proud to understand this, then do it for the people who want to help you. It makes them feel alive.

๐—จ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฑ๐˜€, โ€œ๐—œโ€™๐—บ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฟ๐˜†.โ€ It doesnโ€™t matter if you didnโ€™t mean to hurt someone, it doesnโ€™t matter if you were joking, the road to Hell is paved by good intentions.

๐—จ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฑ๐˜€, โ€˜๐—œโ€™๐—บ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฟ๐˜†.โ€™ It doesnโ€™t matter if you didnโ€™t mean to hurt someone, it doesnโ€™t matter if you were joking, the road to Hell is paved by good intentions.

๐——๐—ผ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ผ ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ๐—บ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚โ€™๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ด.

๐—ฃ๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐˜๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐˜€ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ท๐—ผ๐˜†๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ ๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ฑ. Chances are, youโ€™ll come back to them when youโ€™re an adult.

๐—ฃ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜†. Play when youโ€™re a child. Play when youโ€™re a teenager. Play when youโ€™re an adult.

๐—š๐—ฒ๐˜ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฏ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ต ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ฟ.

๐— ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ. Movement is medicine.

๐—ช๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐˜†. Donโ€™t be afraid of what other people think of your body either. The truth is that everybody else is too consumed with themselves and how they look. Theyโ€™re not thinking about you and how you look. However, if you do meet someone whoโ€™s paying attention to how you look and seems to care deeply about it, there is a deeper issue that lies within them. Itโ€™s not your problem.

๐—•๐—ฒ ๐—ด๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ. Be kind to your body. Treat it with respect so it can move easily and bring you from one place to the other.

๐—Ÿ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ท๐—ผ๐˜† ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—ฑ. Taste and see that it is good. And it is good! Donโ€™t use it as a crutch. Donโ€™t use it as a prize. Enjoy food when youโ€™re celebrating with your loved ones and use it to fuel your body.

๐—š๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐˜†. Every single person needs to see a therapist. If the pandemic taught us anything it should be that all of us need to see someone for our own mental health.

๐—ฆ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ธ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฝ๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ฒ, ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ, ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ป. We need face to face interaction. We need to touch each other. We need to see each other. We need to hear each otherโ€™s voice. I need to look into your eyes and make a connection with you. I canโ€™t do that through a computer screen.

๐——๐—ผ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜†๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐˜† ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐˜…๐˜ ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ. You canโ€™t take those words back. Anything that you do not want repeated should never be written down.

๐——๐—ผ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜†๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐˜† ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐˜…๐˜ ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ. You canโ€™t take those words back. Anything that you do not want repeated should never be written down.

Try your best to live away from home for a little bit of your life.

๐—ฆ๐—ฎ๐˜†๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด โ€œ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€โ€ ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—ณ๐—ฒ. Maybe itโ€™s with your family, maybe itโ€™s with some friends, maybe itโ€™s with a certain community. Wherever it is or whomever it is with, make sure that you get a chance to return. Itโ€™s good for the soul.

๐—ฅ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜… ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ด๐˜‚๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฑ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐˜„ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ. Allow them in and let them see who you truly are. I canโ€™t tell you how to find these people, but I can tell you from experience that divulging your inner most secrets right away is not a good idea.

๐——๐—ผ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐—ด๐—ผ ๐—ฏ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฎ ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ณ๐˜‚๐—น ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€; but if you feel like you must do this, stop and think about why youโ€™re sharing. Answer these questions in the quiet of your heart: Are you trying to prove something to somebody? Or are you just trying to share your life? Are you trying to compensate for anything that youโ€™re missing?

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ธ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฝ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—น๐—ฑ, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐˜๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ฒ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฒ. Life is too short to live a lie. The truth always seems to find its way to the surface.

๐—Ÿ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐—ด๐—ต ๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ. Donโ€™t take yourself too seriously. Nobody expects you to be perfect. Jesus is the only one whoโ€™s perfect and Iโ€™m pretty sure he had a sense of humor.

๐—Ÿ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐—ด๐—ต ๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ. Donโ€™t take yourself too seriously. Nobody expects you to be perfect. Jesus is the only one whoโ€™s perfect and Iโ€™m pretty sure he had a sense of humor.

Find your faith. Find hope. Lifeโ€™s too long and hard to live without it.

๐——๐—ผ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ผ๐˜๐˜€. I didnโ€™t learn this until I was older.

๐—ฃ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ด๐—ผ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ฒ. Itโ€™s hard to be the one whoโ€™s left behind. With each person that leaves theyโ€™ve given you a gift.

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—น๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜† ๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐˜‚๐˜€. Sure, they might not be with us physically but theyโ€™re part of who we are. They are like little stars on a map. In the great ocean of life, itโ€™s like being able to look at the nightโ€™s sky and navigate your way home by using the stars. You see where each person has left an imprint on you.

๐——๐—ผ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐˜€ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ธ๐—ฒ โ€œ๐—œโ€™๐—บ ๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐˜‡๐˜†.โ€ You may find out one day that you actually are.

๐—œ๐—ณ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ถ๐—น๐—น๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€, ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜๐—ต๐—บ๐—ฎ. You didnโ€™t choose it. Itโ€™s nothing to feel guilty about; the difference is that your asthma doesnโ€™t hurt the people you love the most. Mental illness can hurt those closest to you.

๐—ช๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฐ๐—ต ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐˜†. Crying is like, letting the part of us that hurts the most out, releasing it into the world and letting it go. If we donโ€™t let go, our pain just sits and festers inside. Itโ€™s all consuming and shows up in different ways like rage or anger, or in habits like alcoholism or binge eating. It becomes a hole in our life that must be filled.

๐—ช๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฐ๐—ต ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐˜†. Crying is like, letting the part of us that hurts the most out, releasing it into the world and letting it go. If we donโ€™t let go, our pain just sits and festers inside. Itโ€™s all consuming and shows up in different ways like rage or anger, or in habits like alcoholism or binge eating. It becomes a hole in our life that must be filled.

๐—ฆ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜‚๐—ฝ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ผ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐˜€๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ธ ๐˜‚๐—ฝ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—บ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐˜€. Stand up even if it means going against the popular or socially acceptable way of doing something.

Sit next to the person who doesnโ€™t have anybody to sit by. Welcome the new person.

๐—™๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ผ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—น๐—ฑ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—บ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ฒ. This person isnโ€™t asking you to change for them, they bring out the best in you the way salt brings out the flavor in any dish.

๐—™๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ผ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐—ด๐—ต.

๐— ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—น๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ด. It can get mundane, and it takes an awful lot to keep it romantic. Donโ€™t make your marriage all about the kids; once those kids are gone, itโ€™s just the two of you.

๐—š๐—ฒ๐˜ ๐—ฎ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜„๐—ต๐˜† ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐˜ ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ. Have fun together. Laugh.

๐—š๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜, ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐˜€. Be confident and secure in your friendship. I wish I had figured this out 15 years ago. I spent more than enough time feeling bad about myself and ruining friendships that were perfectly fine because I was jealous and insecure.

๐—š๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐˜, ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐˜€. Be confident and secure in your friendship. I wish I had figured this out 15 years ago. I spent more than enough time feeling bad about myself and ruining friendships that were perfectly fine because I was jealous and insecure.

๐—๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜€๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐˜๐˜† ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†.

Take this with a grain of salt or read this and heed some of my words of advice. Thatโ€™s all it is: advice.


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Bert A.

As the creator of the lifestyle blog and book, Me Before Mom, Bert supports millennial moms facing the challenges and changes of motherhood. Me Before Mom is an online community that offers support through real life stories, encouraging advice, and answers to questions about how a woman maintains herself during this self-sacrificial time of parenthood. Stories from Bert Anderson have helped women across the globe through the Huffington Post, Todayโ€™s Parent, and on the Harry show. Whether weathering the first year of motherhood or walking through the later stages of motherhood, Bert has helped many continue to find herself while still in the throes of motherhood. Purchase your copy ofย Me Before Mom: Putting Your Oxygen Mask on First today!