๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ฎ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐จ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฌ๐ฃ ๐๐๐๐ค๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐ฃ๐๐ 40.
I am not an โexpertโ but I have a lot of life experiences and now Iโm looking at the years ahead of me and I realize that Iโve reached the age my parents were when I discovered they were in fact aging. When I look back through my life, the ups and downs, the joy and sorrow, I am compelled to believe that the only way to make those painful moments worth it is to pass the lesson learned on to the younger generation. Every betrayal by a friend, every time I acted out of jealousy, every reaction that wasnโt warranted, everything that was painful at the time had to have been for something, right? There is more to this life than my own experience. Henry Glassie said, โHistory is not the past but a map of the past, drawn from a particular point of view, to be useful to the modern traveller.โ Consider this, young traveler, a map drawn by me to you.
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๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฒ ๐ถ๐๐ปโ๐ ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฑ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ด. Itโs scary because itโs unknown but sometimes the best things happen when we change. Sometimes to become your true self, you must physically leave a place and start fresh.
๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ป ๐๐ผ ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ ๐ถ๐ณ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ปโ๐ ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป. Donโt waste emotional energy or time lamenting over how much you hate it. Either change the situation or change the way you look at it so you can get through it.
๐ง๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ด๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ถ๐น๐น ๐ป๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฒ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐น๐ฒโ๐ ๐บ๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐ต๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ด๐ต ๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ป๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ ๐ฏ๐๐บ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐๐ถ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ฟ. Those things are religion, politics, and any other viewpoint that is controversial. Life is hard enough already. You donโt need to add your two cents to every single conversation.
๐๐ผ๐ปโ๐ ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐๐ฝ ๐๐ถ๐๐ต ๐ฎ๐ป๐๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ, ๐ป๐ผ ๐บ๐ฎ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ต๐ผ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐น๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐บ ๐๐ผ ๐น๐ถ๐ธ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐, ๐๐ต๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑs ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฒ. Donโt change who you inherently are for anyone. Maybe itโs a friend, maybe itโs a partner, but the second you stop being yourself, and start trying to be somebody else, youโve lost. Thatโs not love. Love doesnโt ask for you to live a lie.
๐๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐ฎ ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ด, ๐ถ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ต๐ผ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฒ. You make the choice to make a relationship work through time, distance and any other situation or problem that may arise.
๐๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐ถ๐๐ปโ๐ ๐ฎ ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐๐๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ด๐ ๐ฒ๐ฏ๐ฏ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ณ๐น๐ผ๐ and ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฒ ๐น๐ถ๐ธ๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ. Love is steady and constant. No one ever said feelings were constant.
๐ ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐น๐ฒ ๐๐ฐ๐ต๐ผ๐ผ๐น ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐น๐น๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐๐ฐ๐ธ. Thereโs no shortcut around the middle school years. You must go through that stage of being awkward and uncomfortable. Youโre barely a teenager, not a young adult, and most certainly not a child. Youโre in this in-between stage. Itโs confusing.
๐๐๐ธ๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฑ ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ป๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ๐๐ฎ๐ฏ๐น๐ฒ.
๐๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฟ๐๐ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ผ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ต๐ฒ๐น๐น๐ผ, ๐๐บ๐ถ๐น๐ฒ. Look the other person in the eye and acknowledge them. It will get you farther than any gift money can buy.
๐๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฟ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ป ๐ถ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐ฎ๐น๐น๐ผ๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ ๐๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐ฑ. Sadness makes us feel vulnerable. It Involves opening yourself up, letting someone in and allowing them to see a part of you that is fragile, broken even.
๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ ๐ต๐ฒ๐น๐ฝ ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ผ๐บ ๐ผ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐. Nobodyโs going to give you an award at the end of your life if you were able to do it all on your own. Thereโs no medal for being completely self-reliant. If youโre too proud to understand this, then do it for the people who want to help you. It makes them feel alive.
๐จ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฝ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฑ๐, โ๐โ๐บ ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฟ๐.โ It doesnโt matter if you didnโt mean to hurt someone, it doesnโt matter if you were joking, the road to Hell is paved by good intentions.
๐๐ผ๐ปโ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ฑ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ปโ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐บ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ผ๐โ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ฟ๐ผ๐ป๐ด.
๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐ฒ๐ป๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ด๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฒ๐ป๐ท๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ถ๐ฑ. Chances are, youโll come back to them when youโre an adult.
๐ฃ๐น๐ฎ๐. Play when youโre a child. Play when youโre a teenager. Play when youโre an adult.
๐๐ฒ๐ ๐ผ๐๐๐๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ฏ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐๐ต ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ฟ.
๐ ๐ผ๐๐ฒ. Movement is medicine.
๐ช๐ฒ ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐บ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐๐ผ ๐บ๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ฏ๐ผ๐ฑ๐. Donโt be afraid of what other people think of your body either. The truth is that everybody else is too consumed with themselves and how they look. Theyโre not thinking about you and how you look. However, if you do meet someone whoโs paying attention to how you look and seems to care deeply about it, there is a deeper issue that lies within them. Itโs not your problem.
๐๐ฒ ๐ด๐ผ๐ผ๐ฑ ๐๐ผ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ. Be kind to your body. Treat it with respect so it can move easily and bring you from one place to the other.
๐๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ฒ๐ป๐ท๐ผ๐ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ผ๐ฑ. Taste and see that it is good. And it is good! Donโt use it as a crutch. Donโt use it as a prize. Enjoy food when youโre celebrating with your loved ones and use it to fuel your body.
๐๐ผ ๐๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐. Every single person needs to see a therapist. If the pandemic taught us anything it should be that all of us need to see someone for our own mental health.
๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ธ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐๐ต๐ถ๐ฝ๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐ต ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐น๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ป ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐น ๐น๐ถ๐ณ๐ฒ, ๐ณ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ณ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฒ, ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ฝ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ฐ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ป. We need face to face interaction. We need to touch each other. We need to see each other. We need to hear each otherโs voice. I need to look into your eyes and make a connection with you. I canโt do that through a computer screen.
๐๐ผ๐ปโ๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ป๐ณ๐ฟ๐ผ๐ป๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐๐ฏ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ฒ๐ ๐ ๐บ๐ฒ๐๐๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ฝ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฟ. You canโt take those words back. Anything that you do not want repeated should never be written down.
Try your best to live away from home for a little bit of your life.
๐ฆ๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด โ๐ต๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ ๐ถ๐โ ๐บ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ต๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐น ๐๐ฎ๐ณ๐ฒ. Maybe itโs with your family, maybe itโs with some friends, maybe itโs with a certain community. Wherever it is or whomever it is with, make sure that you get a chance to return. Itโs good for the soul.
๐ฅ๐ฒ๐น๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐น๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ด๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฑ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐๐ป ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ป๐ฑ ๐ฎ ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐น๐ฒ. Allow them in and let them see who you truly are. I canโt tell you how to find these people, but I can tell you from experience that divulging your inner most secrets right away is not a good idea.
๐๐ผ๐ปโ๐ ๐ด๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ด๐ด๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฎ๐น๐น ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ผ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฎ๐น ๐บ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ ๐ต๐ผ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ณ๐๐น ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐น๐ถ๐ณ๐ฒ ๐ถ๐; but if you feel like you must do this, stop and think about why youโre sharing. Answer these questions in the quiet of your heart: Are you trying to prove something to somebody? Or are you just trying to share your life? Are you trying to compensate for anything that youโre missing?
๐ง๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฝ๐๐ ๐ผ๐๐ ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐น๐ฑ, ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฝ๐ถ๐ฐ๐๐๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐น๐ถ๐ณ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐น๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐๐ฒ๐ฒ. Life is too short to live a lie. The truth always seems to find its way to the surface.
๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ป ๐๐ผ ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ด๐ต ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ. Donโt take yourself too seriously. Nobody expects you to be perfect. Jesus is the only one whoโs perfect and Iโm pretty sure he had a sense of humor.
Find your faith. Find hope. Lifeโs too long and hard to live without it.
๐๐ผ๐ปโ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐๐ผ ๐ฝ๐น๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐ฟ๐ผ๐ผ๐๐. I didnโt learn this until I was older.
๐ฃ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐น๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ด๐ผ ๐ถ๐ป ๐น๐ถ๐ณ๐ฒ. Itโs hard to be the one whoโs left behind. With each person that leaves theyโve given you a gift.
๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐น๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ป ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐น๐ถ๐๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ต๐ผ๐น๐ฑ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐๐ถ๐ด๐ป๐ถ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐น๐๐ฎ๐๐ ๐๐ถ๐๐ต ๐๐. Sure, they might not be with us physically but theyโre part of who we are. They are like little stars on a map. In the great ocean of life, itโs like being able to look at the nightโs sky and navigate your way home by using the stars. You see where each person has left an imprint on you.
๐๐ผ๐ปโ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ด๐ ๐น๐ถ๐ธ๐ฒ โ๐โ๐บ ๐ฐ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐๐.โ You may find out one day that you actually are.
๐๐ณ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐ณ๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ต๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐บ๐ฒ๐ป๐๐ฎ๐น ๐ถ๐น๐น๐ป๐ฒ๐๐, ๐๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ ๐ต๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฎ๐๐๐ต๐บ๐ฎ. You didnโt choose it. Itโs nothing to feel guilty about; the difference is that your asthma doesnโt hurt the people you love the most. Mental illness can hurt those closest to you.
๐ช๐ฎ๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐บ๐ผ๐๐ถ๐ฒ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ฎ๐น๐น๐ผ๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ ๐๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ฟ๐. Crying is like, letting the part of us that hurts the most out, releasing it into the world and letting it go. If we donโt let go, our pain just sits and festers inside. Itโs all consuming and shows up in different ways like rage or anger, or in habits like alcoholism or binge eating. It becomes a hole in our life that must be filled.
๐ฆ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ฝ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ปโ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ธ ๐๐ฝ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐บ๐๐ฒ๐น๐๐ฒ๐. Stand up even if it means going against the popular or socially acceptable way of doing something.
Sit next to the person who doesnโt have anybody to sit by. Welcome the new person.
๐๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ผ ๐บ๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ผ๐ป ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ต๐ผ๐น๐ฑ ๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐บ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ ๐น๐ถ๐ณ๐ฒ. This person isnโt asking you to change for them, they bring out the best in you the way salt brings out the flavor in any dish.
๐๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ผ ๐บ๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ด๐ต.
๐ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐น๐ผ๐ป๐ด. It can get mundane, and it takes an awful lot to keep it romantic. Donโt make your marriage all about the kids; once those kids are gone, itโs just the two of you.
๐๐ฒ๐ ๐ฎ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐บ๐ฒ๐บ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ต๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐น๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ผ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ถ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฟ๐๐ ๐ฝ๐น๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฒ. Have fun together. Laugh.
๐๐ถ๐๐ฒ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐น๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฒ๐ณ๐ถ๐ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐๐ฏ๐, ๐ฒ๐๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฎ๐น๐น๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ๐. Be confident and secure in your friendship. I wish I had figured this out 15 years ago. I spent more than enough time feeling bad about myself and ruining friendships that were perfectly fine because I was jealous and insecure.
๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐น๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ฒ๐ฐ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐น ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐ถ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐๐ฎ๐.