It’s been a long time since I’ve written a sentimental, deep post about anything important. Truth be told, it’s easier to write basic posts that I know will do well either on Pinterest or on Google. I wouldn’t say I’m spilling the tea but I am making a manifesto of the things, relationships I will not be indulging in this decade.
Perhaps I’m just ultra reflective because it’s wintertime so I have a lot of time to myself indoors to mull over things. Everyone has been posting their highlight reels of the last decade. I’m thankful for 2010-2019 brought into my life,
- two healthy baby girls
- success on my blog
- publishing a book
- starting a podcast
- three kids who still think I’m super cool to hang out with and haven’t given me any gray hairs
- a good marriage – I can honestly say that even when we go through our “ships passing through the night” phase our connection is strong.
- my own house – it’s like I’m a grown-up or something
- national TV appearance
- being featured on Huffington Post Parents and TODAY Parents
- local TV appearances
- meeting some lifelong friends
- keeping a few old friends
- getting a second beagle (sadly, we lost our first one in 2017)
Life & Business Manifesto
I’m sure there are more blessings but I can’t help but think about what I want to leave behind and how I want to handle things in the future. Life is so short so why waste it on making the same mistakes over and over again? Here’s what I’m leaving behind in the twenty-teens:
- Chasing other people’s dreams or accomplishments. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that even though the world of influence feels small, there is always a new person who is up and coming and the new “it” person. There is always someone who’s doing better than me, there are always opportunities that I just don’t qualify for that other people do. Is their writing good? No, in my opinion it sucks but for whatever reason – right audience, who they know, artistic abilities other than writing – they’re chosen and I am not. The latter part of the decade was filled with press trips, crazy life experiences but it was also filled with jealousy and this constant feeling of insecurity. It’s ugly and quite frankly, I don’t want to ever go there again. Do I love movies and TV? Yes, but for the first time in my blogging career I want to write about those things because I genuinely want to, not because I want to be noticed.
- Pursuing friendships and not being afraid of rejection. It probably seems like I have no problem making friends. I don’t. I learned how to make friends quickly and easily as a military brat. It gets lonely, however, being the pursuer in every relationship or I should say that I feel like the pursuer. Rather than chasing team trendy and waiting to be called, I’m going to recognize and appreciate the people in my life who consistently pursue me.
- Stop listening to the inner critic who says I’m a poser. I’m willing to bet that even Bill Gates or Steven Hawking felt like an impostor at times. Truth be told I went into this decade and this business with a ton of naive confidence. I wish I could get that back.
- No more giving time and attention to people who bring me down. I feel like the more exposed I became to others and the more mastermind groups, classes, workshops, conferences (except one – We Grow Retreat) I belonged to the more insecure I felt. I think we all have a way we like to be talked with and call it immature but I need a cheerleader more than I need someone to tell me all the things I cannot do. I have been operating in this space of, “I’m not as good as so and so” and “I’m not an expert” and “She’s way better than me, I want it but I can’t get it.” Enough. I’m going to stay in my own lane.
- Support other bloggers, like genuinely support them without looking for support in return…because nine times out of ten they will not support you. Sure, in this mom blogging world we talk about how we love supporting each other. It’s lies. All lies. Who we support are our friends. That’s not selfless, that’s a clique. Or maybe I just feel this way because I’m not part of one of these super tight we support each other blogging groups? More to come on that. I don’t think I have my feelings fleshed out.
- Be smarter about leaving toxic relationships. There are three relationships I’m leaving behind this past decade because they are toxic. I don’t have time for grown ups who cannot apologize or see how their behavior is hurtful and toxic. I will not be someone’s doormat, babysitter, or fifth choice all the time.
Call this my life and business manifesto for the ’20s. Join me in leaving toxic relationships, genuinely saying you’ll lift other women up, and celebrating your success rather than wanting others. Tell me, what’s yours? What things will you absolutely not being dealing with in this next decade?
As the creator of the lifestyle blog and book, Me Before Mom, Bert supports millennial moms facing the challenges and changes of motherhood. Me Before Mom is an online community that offers support through real life stories, encouraging advice, and answers to questions about how a woman maintains herself during this self-sacrificial time of parenthood. Stories from Bert Anderson have helped women across the globe through the Huffington Post, Today’s Parent, and on the Harry show. Whether weathering the first year of motherhood or walking through the later stages of motherhood, Bert has helped many continue to find herself while still in the throes of motherhood. Purchase your copy of Me Before Mom: Putting Your Oxygen Mask on First today!