Letting go does not get any easier the older your child gets.
These two girls. In Kindergarten, the oldest one cried everyday until November. Sending her to school broke my heart but I had to stand strong for her. I couldn’t show her that a little part of me would love for her to stay home with me always. It was so hard to not crack as I sent her out the door, sobbing and telling me how she needed to be with me. I’d just lift up my chin, put on a smile and be unbelievably positive until she walked out that door.
Now my youngest is having the exact same problem. Thank the Lord she has the same teacher that her sister had so she knows us and my youngest knows her. I think the novelty has worn off and she’s realized that an entire school of kids is rather loud and overwhelming.
At least I’ve done this before. I’ll tell you, it doesn’t get easier. I worry about her; I think about her tear stained cheeks and how badly I want to scoop her up under my wings and keep her with me.
That’s not life though. I truly believe, and I’ve said this on my podcast and in my book Me Before Mom, if my goal as a parent is to raise capable adults who contribute to the good of society, then I have to let go. I didn’t do attachment parenting and never co-slept. I’ve always had no problem leaving my kids with people I trusted. What I’m trying to convey is that sometimes it’s just how your child is wired. It doesn’t have to do with you, Mama.
Photo by S&B Vonlanthen on Unsplash
Think about every hardship you endured as a child. Were bullied because you looked different? Did you always second guess if you were good enough? Did you feel like no one really understood you? Now, unless it was something traumatic, it all goes into shaping you as a person. Did I cry when I left my mom for Kindergarten? Yes. It just makes me appreciate her that much more and I had to learn that
So before you swoop in and rescue your child, see what you can do to empower them to overcome their struggles. Be positive, unabashedly positive, and after they walk through that door to go into the world, collapse if you need to. We’ve got this, Mom. (Can you tell this pep talk is more for me than anyone else?)