I thought I’d get my time back when my kids got older.

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

When they didn’t need me in such obvious ways. When life stopped revolving around naps and snacks and constant supervision.

That isn’t what happened.

I’m busier now than I was when they were little. Not in a frantic way. In a steady, ongoing way. Schedules. Conversations. Driving. Thinking ahead. Remembering things so no one else has to.

When my kids were younger, motherhood was loud. Physical. Visible.

Now it’s quieter. But it hasn’t gotten smaller.

No one really talks about this stage.

No one really talks about this stage. The one where your kids are capable and mostly okay, and you’re still carrying a lot — just without the proof that it’s heavy. Researchers and family experts describe the “invisible load” — the cognitive and emotional work of parenting that doesn’t show up on a calendar but still takes energy. Here’s a good explanation of what that means. The work blends into the background. And so do you, if you’re not paying attention.

This blog has always been called Me Before Mom.

Not because motherhood isn’t important.
Not because my kids aren’t the most important work I’ll ever do.

But because I existed before them. And I still exist now.

I didn’t decide to put myself last. It happened slowly. I stopped noticing what I wanted. I stopped making space for things that were just mine. “Later” became the answer without much thought.

Later, when things calm down.
Later, when life feels less full.

It’s about staying connected.

But life didn’t calm down. It just changed.

Waiting for the right season to reconnect with myself turned into waiting indefinitely.

This space isn’t about doing motherhood better. It’s not about fixing anything or becoming a new version of myself.

It’s about staying connected.

About noticing when I start to disappear quietly.
About remembering that I’m allowed to take up space in my own life while raising kids who matter deeply to me.

If you’re here and things feel full but slightly off, busy but unsettled, this isn’t something you’ve failed at. It’s just what can happen when you spend years showing up for everyone else.

This blog is a place to name that. To pay attention. And to practice staying connected to yourself in the middle of it.

Not loudly.
Not perfectly.
Just honestly.